Column 1
- How did Cain and Abel acquire their wives?
- Craunch the marmoset?
- How many men are in a military division?
- How did Bush get to be King of the World?

Column 2
- Condi is HOT!
- Why do they pick on Tom Cruise's faith?
- How do they keep Cheney alive?

Column 3
- Can you help me & Fatima get back on track?
- My neighbors are inconsiderate jerks!

Column 4
- What can I do about insolent cellphoners?
- How can I get kids to quit picking on me?

Column 5
- What's up with sun-dried tomatoes?
- What are the Isles of Pancreas?

Column 6
- How'juh come to Orakulate so good?
- Can you help my love disorder?

Column 7
- Explain why we Muslims are so upset?
- Can I escape this treadmill?

Column 8
- How do we get rid of this drifter?
- What hath The Fates in store?

Column 9
- How can I rescue my computer?
- Goodbye Shelly.