Table of Contents

Despondent at the state of the world, I beseeched God for answers but got nothing.

Since I kept hearing how "God is in the White House" nowadays, I made a pilgrimage to Washington, D.C.  The trip began well, on a Peter Pan Express bus playing a bleeped-out TV movie version of Al Pacino in Scarface (you know, I've always thought Michelle what's-her-name is extremely attractive, even when she plays a sweaty "coke head"), then ended badly when Lucifer's last line of defense, the so-called "secret service," attacked me with stun guns on the sidewalk in front of the White House.

But the joke is on them, because ever since then "the answers" just pop into my head.

(These are all from 2006-7)

How Do They Keep Cheney Alive?
Can You Help Me & Fatima Get Back on Track?	My Neighbors Are Inconsiderate Jerks!
How Did Bush Get To Be King of the World?	How Many Men Are in a Military Division?
Craunch the Marmoset?	How Did Cain and Abel Acquire Their Wives?
Condi Is HOT!	Why Do They Pick On Tom Cruise's Faith?
Can I Rescue My Computer?	How'd You Come to Orakulate So Good?